


The Top-Secret Diary of Evil Genius Robbie Rotten

by Talax



Category: LazyTown
Genre: Character Study, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-23
Updated: 2017-11-23
Packaged: 2019-02-05 23:56:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,930
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12805170
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Talax/pseuds/Talax
Summary: Robbie has a lot of feelings and they are always confusing





	The Top-Secret Diary of Evil Genius Robbie Rotten

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Bonymaloney](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bonymaloney/gifts).



> Trying to leave this a little imperfect to add to the diary theme. Especially because Robbie is dyslexic and would likely have a very messy unreadable diary. So please excuse any weird word replacement and spelling errors!
> 
> Also I hadn't even considered writing a Robbie character study until @bonymaloney suggested it. So thanks! It's been a blast.

08/05/2004 2:03 am

Hey?

Wow, I don’t know what I’m doing.

I’m told that writing down all your thoughts is a more sleep friendly way to express yourself then talking to yourself at 2:00 am.

Plus, as much as having feelings is disgusting and I would like to opt out, supposedly, having a place to write those thoughts is good. Good for “self reflection” or “bettering yourself” or something made up like that.

I also heard that you aren’t supposed to use the backspace in this kind of writing. You’re just supposed to , keep going and going (and going?) even if what you are saying sounds stupid or not well worded. 

I feel like I’m not very good at spelling, or clarity, or very many things at all… and i feel like my thoughts go all over the place. But this is supposed to help? Whatever we’ll see. Regardless of helping, I AM a genius. And perhaps my innermost thoughts should be preserved for future aspiring villains. Or at least, i will get to read over some excellent insights from Robbie’s past.

Chao,  
RR

8/09/2004 11:00am

I have depression

8/10/2004 2:25 am

Okay, so maybe my journal isn’t exactly going to be a catalogue of my brilliant ideas. Maybe it’s going to be more like……. a vulnerable thing…… that is NOT for other aspiring villains but just for me…. because big surprise but i currently can’t sleep and I just yelled at the kids in town for being loud because I haven’t slept in a while and… i am kinda a big crappy jerk who yells at kids and spends all his time alone. Whatever. 

I’m feeling kind of sleepy actually. I think this writing before bed is actually pretty relaxing even though ti’m just talking about how much i hate myself. Is that my new version of counting sheep? I hate myself, i hate myself, i hate myself, 1 2 3 self depreciating thoughts sent off into the void.

Goodnight,  
RR

PS I hate myself x10

8/11/2004 11pm

Oh, I’m so… I’m feeling really something!!! Agitated probably!!! I just need to make sense of this stupid story.

Alright….. i was having some breakfast cake at 11 am. Feeling back on top of that ego mountain after finishing touching up my hair and makeup. And this pink girl (i think that’s how i should describe her, even her hair was pink) was in town? And she went into the mayor’s house. I was very confused by the whole ordeal, since NO ONE new ever comes to town. But the breakfast cake was making me feel pretty optimistic so I figured it was okay. Just another kid to take up space ((maybe we might even have something in common?)). But she. THAT GIRL she tried to get all the kids to PLAY with her.

Like sports. Like loud movement exercise.

Luckily i was able to step in and the kids went back to their lazy selves when i exerted a little influence. But she…… she called number 10.

I tried to stop her! At least i wished for her to stop.

And now 10 is here.

Seemingly to stay. And i’m pretty sure he saw me. I’m pretty sure we made eye contact and i’m pretty sure he gave me… this look… 

It was like? He was acknowledging me? Without actually calling any attention to me?? At least that’s my analysis of it right now. At the time i was too busy being MORTIFIED that there was another one. But he gave me that look and then he told everyone he’d be staying in lazytown.

I really don’t want that to happen.

It took long enough for me to get 9 to go away. And i don’t want to do that again. But i’m going to get 10 to leave. They did this dance with made up words? I can’t have that happening at all hours of the day!! Yes, I’m feeling angry and… as much as i hate to say it (write it?) i am also a little bit scared. Okay a lot a bit scared. I’m downright terrified. Because this 10 guy, he called himself sportacus, he’s Really Really handsome and he seems just NICE and i’m pretty darn sure that everyone in town is going to like him way way more than they like me and no one is going to want to be lazy with me ever again? Okay. I guess i have a lot of feelings about this because that’s also making me really really sad. Writing was a terrible idea. I’m done with this,

8/12/2004 8:20pm

I followed Sportacus around all day. Just trying to get some data about the kind of person he is and any weaknesses. He’s extremely weird. I know, i know, I’m extremely weird. But listen!! 

He doesn’t JUST save the kids. He is this weird health nut. He gives them fruits and vegetables (although he calls them Sportscandy, which i find extremely personally insulting) and shows them how to exercise and play games? It’s ANNOYING and it’s WEIRD and there's no reason he has to do that. He’s just ruining my friends.

I don’t think I’ve mentioned this yet but he…… he doesn’t really WALK I’ve been watching him all day and he didn’t walk an inch. He gets around by flipping. Like for real, jumping in the air and turning his body all the way around and jumping off of stuff onto other stuff. It’s so infuriatingly stupid. He’s like this big… i can’t even compare him to an animal because no animal moves around that stupid. A monkey? A flying squirrel? He’s like a blue kangaroo. Why would a person do that when walking is already hard enough? I wonder if flipping is easier for him than walking. God, i hate him so much already. 

Okay, so i may have created a few dangers for the kids to fall in today. I know that kinda sucks because they’re my friends but they’re ignoring me and i knew sportacus would save them. At least i assumed he could. Whatever, whatever, he did save them all. I was expecting him to get frustrated that the kids kept slipping on the same skateboard over and over but he just saved them, smiled, ruffled their hair, and told them to be more careful where they step. I wonder if he would ruffle my hair?

Wow no backspace allowed huh? I mean, that would be horrible to get my hair ruffled by that weird sportaflip. Sportaflop. 

8/13/04 7:40pm

I interacted with Sportacus for the first time today. I won’t go into details about my amazing plot, but I will say that i made him look very foolish!!! Until everyone realized it was me in the disguise and that his shoes were the thing making him run around like a maniac. Such a wonderful plot… i probably shouldn’t have spent so much time making him look foolish and i should have just made him walk right out of town but… i don’t know… i’m pretty sure if he looks stupid and incompetent and clumsy they won’t want him back… right?

8/14/04 4:00pm

Last summer, there was a day where I was lounging in the park and the kids invited me to use chalk with them. I hadn’t used chalk in so long so I joined them. I remember teaching the kids about outlining each other in chalk and then decorating the outline to make it look like its wearing your clothes and stuff. Ziggy wanted to do my outline, but he’s so small, he was even smaller a year ago, so it was a really slow going process. Pixel and Trixie and Stingy all joined in with their chalks. I remember the feeling of their little hands brushing into me and the sound of the chalk scratching the pavement. When they were done I got up and I was this big long sloppy rainbow colored man. The kids all laughed (and so did i) since all their outlines looked so different. We all decorated our outlines and I didn’t even care that i was getting chalk all over my clothes. That was a really good day. I miss those kids.

8/16/04 6:00pm

I am so tired… and i feel so stupid… 

I may have engaged in some sporty behavior today. I was trying to defeat Sportaflop at sports day today. What was I thinking? I mean, obviously i cheated and put motors and things in my stuff but like still, sport is in his name. What did i think that outcome was going to be.

I also learned that sportacus passes out if he has any processed sugar. As a villain with a lot of sugar on hand at any given moment, that’s really convenient and i’m very excited.

But on the other hand… i can’t help but feel kinda bad for him? Like the guy has never been able to enjoy a piece of cake. No wonder he’s so weird. I wonder if he tries to eat sweets and passes out part way through? I mean really. That totally sucks.

But yes. I’m totally going to keep taking advantage of this. Because I’m a Villain and that’s what Villains do. 

8/17/04 1:20am

I can't find my inventions notebook!! Whatever!! Laziness forever!!!

An umbrella that folds up really small and attaches to a backpack when it's expanded so you don't have to carry it! Lazy and convenient!  
Maple syrup with sprinkles in it. OR waffles with sprinkles!!   
More sprinkle related breakfast food  
A machine that sprays sprinkles all over so I can make all the garden fruit unhealthy  
Combine sprinkles with weather machine. Consider potential sprinkle related side effects such as hoards of racoons  
Research whether raccoons can be trained to run on sports fields and destroy sports equipment

8/17/04 11 am

I really really reaaaally hate these noisy sporty healthy annoying children. Why won't they be quiet?!? I had a late night inventing and I want to sleep!! UGH!! If only my raccoon training program was viable…

8/21/04 3:00pm

I stole Sportaflop’s crystal today. He actually… he kinda barked at me. I didn't like it at all. I've never seen him upset but I think he was made because Stingy was in trouble. 

He wasn’t in DANGER though. I wouldn't do something that actually would hurt the poor kid if Sportacus couldn't save him. I just wanted to keep him in the treehouse until I could wish Sportacus out of town. I would have gotten him down! There's no reason to yell at me...

8/21/04 7:00pm

Sportacus just… stopped by my house to apologize to me. I didn't even know he knew where I lived. I guess he's always watching on that crystal if his. What a CREEP!

Anyway I… might have apologized back. LIKE I SAID i didn't put Stingy in danger, but… I think I'm too soft… he looked so disappointed in himself for scaring me. I couldn't just let him stand there and feel bad for being mad at me? I'm mad at me all the time. Geez, I really am to soft.

He also hugged me.

It was VERY terrible and warm and firm and AWFUL. Why would he go and do a thing like that? He's too nice. I can't stand him!! UGH!!

**Author's Note:**

> This was a blast so I will most likely do more, but encouragement is always appreciated :')


End file.
